Authors Smiling Bob, El Conejo, Thor, Big Tony C. and more.

Veteran's Day Classic at Harmony.

16 hearty warriors took the field at Harmony, some a little weary from the journey acroos two states, 6 rivers, and 4 farms to reach the course. The front nine was a battle against the wind and the greens, with the rough grabbing a few balls and refusing to let go with one swing. But a few prevailed not only on the front, but the back as well. Maybe a firest in Edgewater Golf Group history, the same team won the front and the back. This is with the recomputing of averages between nines.

The Senator returned from the clutches of the widowmaker to take a double sided win and sky rocketing up the Pfing-Ex score board. Eddie maintains his Tiger like approach to the trophy ands I only playing and winning at the majors. Mark "I'm coachable" Davis took lessons from the "A" group players took a double win and low man award on the day. And finally the holding of the big stick, the thunder of the gods, the pounder of golf balls far and wide (yes sometimes really wide right), Brian took a double win and low man as well.

A good day was had by all, with good food, good spirits and beer, and most importantly the company of good friends.

Until next month at the Holiday Classic at Bella Collina Dec. 22nd.

Henry we missed you.............r $$$$

Congrats on the wedding and gaining a son in law.

MLK Tournament, Jan. 16, 2017

            EHS golfers,  The Tom Ruby memorial MLK, JER day tournament was a complete success.Who saw these "results coming in advance?"  With 18 players and 6 teams of three each,  did anyone "forecast" that the top individual on the front was Steve McKinney and on the back was Mike "the Eagle" Smith , with a stunning birdie on the "impossible"par 5 13th !  It was actually a birdie but in the skins game he was given a stroke on that hole .

            Predicting that result would have been like predicting Trump would win the presidential election.  Ouch!

            Tom Towle almost had a stroke when his birdie on 15, the over the creek hole, was cut by Knoblauch and EL Conejo, who were given a stroke on that hole.  Judge Gerald was a medalist with 72,  and Mr Don Shingles was on a winning team.  He felt like a winner after fleeing the frozen woods of North Georgia and returning to action.

            The last Noel announced that he was contemplating joining the GA excursion.The excitement was electric.  We said that he could have a blowup bed with his roomie, Mr Don Shingles, and Mr Don Shingles told Ted the he has a blowup doll that will be in the big bed with him.  There is an unsubstantiated rumor that the doll only speaks French, but Ted assured  Don that he could translate for him.   "Ooh-la-la" is French, I believe.

            Sea Island update.   We are now holding 12 tee times on Friday May 5th at Hampton Plantation.  6 of them commence at 9:30 am and 6 of them commence at 12:00 noon.Please respond and give me your preference.  This is a time sensitive response.  When this survey is complete, I will let Rick Mattox know and we will turn back over 6 tee times.  Rick will also inquire about getting us onto Sea Palms on Saturday May 7th for those players desiring to play a 3rd round.  Eight players will be afforded the opportunity to play Sea Island on Saturday,  May 6, for the previously announced extra fee.

The British are coming, the British are coming.      Let me rephrase that.

The Lord Mayor is coming,  the Lord mayor is coming.

            The diminutive Welsh royal will arrive on Tuesday May 2 ,  and return to his homeland on May 9.  Vegas is giving odds on whether or not that William will be the Prince of Wales by then.  How is that possible, you ask?  What about Charles?  William would replace Charles as the Prince of Wales if Charles is the king of England because Elizabeth was no longer queen.  She is still in hiding because of her "minor" illness, but those in the know quietly acknowledge that she is not "well."

            I have asked Sir Alan to give an update to the group on how much longer Elizabeth will be around. He, of course , would be required to be present for the "investiture" of the new Prince of Wales,  timeout  a Halfback alert here.  Is that a word?  Was it quasi grammatically correct in that sentence?

            We are all hopeful that Elizabeth does not kick the bucket during the first week of May , as Sir Alan might not be able to come to GA.

            We have quietly discussed a "Weekend with Bernie option" for Elizabeth where they just duct tape her in the back of a royal coach and let her deceased carcass ride around in the back of the aforementioned royal coach so that the Lord Mayor of Wales can complete his tour to the USA.  Keep her on ice, so to speak.

            Like many Europeans,  he is concerned about what America will be like then, post election.  Relax,  I told him that by April 20 , 3 months after inauguration day,AMERICA WILL BE GREAT AGAIN!  The "Twitter in Chief"  , aka POTUS 45, will have tamed ISIS , disarmed "Jin San Pang",  another timeout here.  For those of you who do not speak Chinese,  EL C, the butcher of many languages, will translate here for you.  This translates to "Kim Fatty the Third."  

            OK, OK, can any of this possibly be true?  Remember the sage wisdom of our "linguist in chief" , Bob Halback.  There is a small kernel of truth somewhere in the many utterances of EL C, although occasionally poetic license and liberties may be taken with the truth.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/nov/16/china-fatty-nickname-kim-jong-un-jin-san-pang

            Occasional poetic license and liberties with the truth , what a great segue back to POTUS 45.  Where were we, oh yes ,  our new "Chief Twit", a little nickname for him,  "Twitter in Chief" seems to busy to use on a daily basis. By April 20,  Obama care will be a forgotten lesson in bad medicine and bad politics,  taxes will have been slashed on corporations and the top 1%,  highways and bridges will be under construction, coal miners will be happily underground again getting black lung disease in W. Virginia,  the factories of Ohio, Michigan, and Indiana will be humming with 100%  American workers. Russia will become an ally again, after Vlad P , Donald T, and Rex Tillerson, our new secretary of state, all hang out a corporate retreat lodge owned by Exxon and financed by Goldaman Sachs.

            Yes sir--ee Bob, the DC swamp will be completely drained and early May will be a golden time in US history.

            Since I know that we all miss the election commercials,  I close with this final thought.

I am EL Conejo , and I approve this message.

See you---------------------------------------rmoney at 2:30 pm at WPark.

Jan.1 2016

A small but festive group rang in the new year at the WPCC for a day to be remembered. Gone were legends like El Conejo, the Don(inator), Guido Juan Filipe Don Pablo Masterantonio Blanco, the Polish Prince, and Bob the Bard-hence my telling of this tale. One foursome and one threesome, er- make that two foursomes teed off at 9:30, as Wagglin' Jack stumbled belatedly into the second group with a blood-alcohol level of .18 from the revels of the night before and a thin plastic party hat Crazy-glued to his head (with which he played from start to finish). That second group also included Jim, don't call me "Chuck" Knoblach, the Brewmeister Mark Davis, and the immortal Coop. The first group featured Thor, Jon E., myself, and Judge Gerald. I made the first sound financial decision of 2016 when I refused to enter the skins game with the resident pros and the Norse god of the hooded 4-iron. I even did so despite Bryan's feeble attempts to lure me in after his intentional topped tee shot off the 1st. To quote the hero of this story when moving to the ninth tee, "This 'S' on my chest doesn't stand for sucker!" But I digress - the round began innocently enough with scrambling pars and shots you'd come to expect from the top two point men, but something was different today. There would be no snorts of derision from the Judge's bench, and long putts routinely disappeared into the minuscule maw of the newly cropped greens. The steady, tedious perfection of Jon would not win the day. The whistling of steel-shafted projectiles would not be heard amidst the soft song of the robin-or the revving of Jeff's Harley shattering the stillness of Webster Avenue. The Judge handed down his sentence, and the result would be record breaking: seven birdies and two pars while winning both pins. A score of 28 for 50 points, and a clean sweep of all the cash, save the crumbs taken by Mark while being carried to victory. All of this in addition to an indeterminate sum earned from running the table in the skins game. I was proud to have witnessed it, and even prouder to have not suffered more than a dollar loss as a result of it. All in all, it was a pretty good way to welcome in the year. Also don't forget about the Tom Ruby Classic on Monday January 18th. Look for more info from Bryan soon. Happy New Year gentlemen and I look forward to another year of great golf and even greater friendship

May 2015

We are all acquainted with the story of Medusa-a once beautiful woman who angered the gods and was transformed into a hideous beast from whom one look would turn a man to stone. However we do have a confirmed myth in our midst. The "Donusa" is said to have angered the golf gods by failing to be faithful to one set of clubs, his poor play, and not allowing them to sleep due to his snoring. Just one look at his pasty, scarred...er... sacred ass can kill. Just recently, a side picture of the ass stopped a man's heart! All in good fun of course, best wishes to speedy recoveries for Don and Jim!

Please Don's profile

May 2015

In September of 1759 an epic battle took place just outside of the city of Quebec on "the plains of Abraham" with both commanders mortally wounded. The commander of the French forces was the Marquis de Montcalm, and the commander of the British forces was General James Wolfe. The British ultimately prevailed and France ended up ceding all territorial claims to Canada to Great Britain several years later.

Last Friday another epic battle took place on the "plains of Winter Park CC." Witnesses JonE and EL C participated directly in the foursome while the battle was taking place. At stake was something as valuable as the territorial rights to all of Canada, that being possession of the coveted Pfing-ex cup. It was so intense that there were civilian casualties, as in most wars. Commencing on the 2nd hole, Thor Michaels was trying to high launch a 64 degree wedge over the left sand trap and check it down on the green. It sailed high and deep and drilled a Ford Explorer at the stop sign of the intersection adjacent to the third tee. The soccer mom looked around quasi horrified and then sped off hoping that we would not yell at her.

First blood to the Judge. To complicate the matter, a skins game was unfolding which was not going the way of the Judge or Brian. The battle waged on and after the fifth hole both combatants realized they were probably not going to finish plus their points, as the Judge hitched a ride on the bogey train while Thor decided to plant another tee shot into the same street he had already visited off of the fifth tee. As only two Pfing-ex cup points separated the two, the par 3 holes on 7 and 8 loomed large. The potential team bet was a complete mystery, because "partners" like Shingles or 007Shakey could determine the cup outcome. Their were 17 players competing so teams were "complicated."

Hole #7 Judge missed and Brian was on the back of the green "safely" by about two inches. Hmmmm-----

Hole #8 Thor hit it stiff and Judge G missed to the right and his club was hammered into the ground in a "mini-Minton" moment that was so loud that "Major" Minton could hear the screams three holes back.Thor also pick up 4 skins and the rabbit which left EL C in second place and Jon E in the back seat of a Montgomery Alabama bus seated next to Rosa Parks.

After the 9th hole , Thor has 4 skins, the rabbit, 2 OB's, and a fourth place medalist score in the group, despite some erratic play. In military lingo, staggered but still standing. Judge G has already put his clubs away and gone inside to sulk. He looked and felt like the Marquis de Montcalm just before he died from wounds suffered on the Plains of Abraham. On the 3rd fairway, EL C had casually predicted that this would all end in a playoff. Could it??

What about the team bet? Joe O and jim Cooper were +18 and dragged GJFBlanco to a richly undeserved team victory.The pins, the pins, who won the pins? Brian won #8 BUT the Dutch came to the aid of the French Canadians in the nick of time as a descendant of the DeBeers diamond family, Steve DeZwart, won hole #7 and forced a tie and a playoff for the Pfing-ex cup. If only the DeBeers had showed up in 1759 to aid the French, then the British would not have won Canada.

History would have been changed forever. Speaking of which, the Pfing-ex cup was tied as EL C had predicted. Judge G snapped out of his funk, found his clubs again, and reported back to the first tee. Rules specified a two hole cumulative playoff with by now a decent size gallery. Thor decided to throw his Aasgard hammer into the same street for the third time in 11 holes, and Judge G prosecuted the 2 holes for the win. Exciting and well deserved. Truly either player could have won and either would have been deserving.

At this point, any readers that are still left with me are wondering, what the hell does Ancestry.com have to do with any of this shit? The reason that it took me so long to finish this "scholarly" research is that ancestry.com has PROVED that the DeZwarts are distant family members of the DeBeers tribe, albeit from the poor side of town. Ancestry.com also PROVED that Judge Gerald and family are direct descendants of some of the Montcalm defenders of the city of Quebec in 1759, and ancestry.com PROVED that the Brian Michaels family are direct descendants of the James Wolfe family from England. DNA evidence "suggests" that the Michaels family is an offshoot of the BENNETT family in Elmira NY, whom clearly have direct lineage to the James Wolfe family. Please do not share any of this with Sharon Michaels, or EL Conejo may have to run away to live with his relatives in Guadelajara, Mexico.

Feb. 27 , 2015

Last Friday Mr Don Shingles was +10 and ruled the day in the EHS golf league. Since I was in Naples, I am not sure that this was not fiction. I am sure that with me present today that this will not be repeated.

DECEMBER 11

Wed on a clear and crisp afternoon,  7 players took to the "field of dreams".  Tim Tebow loaned his #15 Gator jersey to El Conejo, who was inspired to have 6 pars and 28 points, netting top individual.  Guido Javier Fernandez Blanco won both pins and was the partner of El C.  Conclusion, match over.  In a setting sun,  El C decided to "Tebow" and thank the Lord for vanquishing the Egyptians in the Red Sea massacre.  Biblical scholar and Hebrew linguist Ted the last Noel left the parking lot looking like a disconsolate Pharaoh despite having a great round, as he believes El Conejo was mocking Moses, the FL Gators, Jim Cooper and all of the other bull Gators.  A shocked and stunned Brian Michaels arrived in time to defrock the Tebow impostor and confiscate the jersey, so that David Pfingstag could wear the jersey to work in order to satisfy the terms of a lost bet.  Come on David, you can "Tebow" too----, look, it's easy!

Joe O and other Gators-----  I hope that you enjoy this photo!

Sir Alan is confused, because this is all about American football, not to be confused with FIFA football,

or rugby or cricket.

Please everyone, come Friday because El C wants to see you-------------------------rmoney.

Note to Hansen, I tried to be humble.

Note to Judge Gerald, I tried to act like I had been there before, BUT I never had a Tebow jersey before!

As I played the course,  I felt like the "Force" was with me and I could do no "RONG", no wonder why Tebow believes he is an NFL player.  When you wear the jersey, you "feel the power."

DECEMBER 10

EHS golfers,   No, no, no---  Shingles did not drive his golf cart into the Range Rover behind the fifth green last Friday.

Sir Alan is breathing a sigh of relief right now.  What really transpired, { burst of truth here, Halback}  is that after a really good drive on #5, Shingles hit an errant approach shot into the front right trap.  Now the adventure begins-----

The 2nd sand shot came out of the trap, scuttled across the green, and trickled down into the small patch of grass between the sidewalk and the street.  However, it was so close to the street that when Shingles took his backswing he almost struck a Range Rover that violently swerved to avoid a wedge into the side of a door. As he struck forward, his ball went low and viciously hard into the side of the golf cart that he had parked precariously close to his golf ball and the street on the thin patch of grass between the sidewalk and the street.  Do not tell Justin, Jeff, or Judge Gerald about the dent in the back of their new golf cart.  Fortunately for Shingles, the ball went into the street and and then was swallowed by the big drain so there is no "incriminating bullet" to connect Shingles to this property crime.

Later on in this dramatic round, while El Conejo was singing the James Bond theme song  on the 8th tee, 007 Gene

"the shakester" Myatt laced a perfect shot to the 8th green to capture closest to the pin.  Number 7 was won by John Maloney, who posted a near par overall round.  Shameless segue here--------John is ready, willing, and able to provide everyone with new grips for cost alone, and IF you have cash or credit, he will sell you clubs for less than Edwin Watts, Golfsmith, or the "internet".  He will not take your 2,000 old clubs in on trade for new clubs so that Shingles is ineligible for this new offer.

As for the final results, in a stunning upset, Shingles, who had 8 good holes despite the adventure on #5,  Jack, who is

waggling way, way less, and shooting, much, much better , and El Conejo won the team bet, thanks exclusively to Shingles and top individual Jack.  With a field of 13 players, and some really good players, this was an upset.

Javier Guido Blanco Fernandez took his ailing prostrate home after pounding his head on, "his words", in Puerto Rican vernacular, "the ground of disbelief."

More to come soon on today's results------------ See the rest of you--------------------rmoney Friday.

El Conejo. 

NOVEMBER 23

EHS golfers,   This week by a popular vote, those that care and are available, Wed will be at 130 pm.

Friday is a day off.  Happy Thanksgiving.

Last Friday saw Steve Hansen shoot a 1 under 34,  EAGLE  #6, and finish as top individual at +7.  His partners were heavy, as in like lead.  The winning team was Jon E, Mike Smith, and Steve McKinney, whom all contributed.

We welcome Steve back from injured reserve.  We missed you------------------rmoney.

Pins were Hansen and JonE, and a good time was had by all, except for Shingles, whom was having a steroid shot that went so deep into his hip that his proctology appointment had to be cancelled.  Ouch, pun intended.

Current injured reserve or upcoming injured reserve.  McKinney, shoulder, recovering.

Blanco, prostrate cancer, Ackerman, surgery for Democratic molecules infecting his system.  Shingles, drainbamage, causes you to slur and mix up your syllables.  Joe Oldakowski, carpal tunnel, surgery is Dec 19, e-mail for details and we can all go visit and have lunch at Marlow's tavern, which is next door to the outpatient surgical center.  Mike Smith will bring extra scrubs so that we can sneak in as "medical professionals" and "help" his recovery.  Halback, has had so many steroid shots and is currently working on an upcoming addiction to OxyC.

People, your medical issues are affecting my retirement income.  Please, get well, and return to add to the coffers of El Conejo.  The holidays are coming and I miss you-------------------r money.

Ackerman's surgery was similiar to Natalie Gulbius' surgery

Can wait to do chest bumps with Senator Ackerman

NOVEMBER 13

Let's hear it for the judge.  Brian Michaels has been surreptitiously been acquiring Pfing-ex cup points while the Judge has been unable to participate.  Tournament host Mark Davis led his team to victory, dragging Brian with him on the front side at Deltona on Tuesday, but the Polish Prince, Joe O, won both sides for the team, including the back side with JonE and yes, Mr Don Shingles, who inspired his team to victory despite posting a 108.

At this point, I expect a diatribe from Bonus Bob Halback about run on sentences or at least a weather report.

Speaking of the generally hapless Shingles, he broke 50 at WPark on Wed, thus going +5 and winning the top individual!  His "stone cold" bogey putt on hole #9 allowed him to be +5, top individual, and literally "drag"

Brian to a tie for the team victory and splitting the pot with Bob H and the ever present and ever effervescent El Conejo.  I am sure that this sentence includes more bad grammar and sentence structure.  Oh well, roll over Beethoven, whoops, that's music, or at least Shakespeare is rolling over in his grave while the erstwhile Kentuckian continues to abuse the English language.  Speaking of the English, or at least their poor cousins the Welsh, I am sad to report that Sir Alan has been unable to return to the USA because of the abominable Scots.  They were promised so much largesse to remain part of the Commonwealth that the budgets of Wales and N Ireland and England have been "pinched", that is a British term for things being stolen form them!    New plan, let's petition for Wales to secede, the the Queen Mum will throw a few million pounds towards reconstruction projects in Wales and Sir Alan shall return in May.  God save the Queen, and someone please tell her to quit letting Islamic terrorists move to England with bogus passports so that they can then go back to Syria/Iraq and chop off American heads while speaking the "King's English."

A deliriously happy Steve Hansen will see everyone tomorrow at 3:03 pm at Winter Park Pines golf club, very short commute for him,  because cars will be parked on our WPark gold course fairways for the weekend.

See you------------------------------------rmoney tomorrow.  El Conejo

SEPTEMBER 12

EHS golf group, best last minute analogy I could come up with------

It is the last 1950's , early 1960's,  movie time-------sing along here----------

Hang down your head,  Tom Dooley

Hang down your head and cry

Hang down your head,  Tom Dooley

Poor boy you're bound to die------------

And then, Halback will alert you whether dead bodies lay down, after all, they are dead, or lie down

Based on Wed results,  new lyrics-----------------------

Hang down your head, Don Shingles

Hang down your head and cry

Hang down your head, Don Shingles

Poor boy, you will have to walk the walk of shame in Judge Gerald's court.

You have secured major, major points in the Doo-mas trophy award.

If Judge Gerald was Gen Patton, then Shingles was the private who told Patton in the medic tent that 

"his nerves" could not take front line combat, and then he was pistol whipped by Patton.

If Judge Gerald could have caught Shingles cart when he was "cutting and running" after the 5th hole, a similar whipping might have occurred with Gerald's putter and Shingles backside.

Now for the story that precipitated, pun intended, all of this.  We did have some precipitation Wed, and by now most of you that are still reading are anticipating the story.  Lay, lie,  anticipate, precipitate,further,farther----

grammar is such a pain.

Eight players braved the potential elements.  Judge G, Thor, JonE, and Bonus Bob are group one.

Jack, El Conejo, 007Gene and Mr Don Shingles in group 2,  007 and Shingles sharing a cart.

First hole, Shingles pars,  2nd hole, Shingles pars,  third hole,  Shingles has a make-able birdie putt.

Jack and El C "insinuate" that if it rains, even a little, Jack and El C are gone and all bets are canceled.

Shingles, shockingly Cooper, vociferously complains that that is what always happens to him when he is playing well and that is just bull--------.  In his agitated state, he 3 putts.  Keeps the rabbit, fails to fence it.

Hole 4  MDS makes an unfortunate tripleB.  Rabbit loose,  Hole 5, it starts raining while we are putting, he 3 putts for a 7 and El C now owns the soggy rabbit.  he jumps in the cart and takes off, he cannot afford to get sick, he has classes to teach.  Mind you, his next job is 5 days away,  AND, Jack did not hold his umbrella while he was putting, and he got wet.  Aah--------

He leaves, and before he gets out of the parking lot, rain stops.  The other 7 finish.

Jack becomes the wildcard.  Brian and Bob tie Jon E and Jack for top team.  JonE wins top individual.

JonE shoots even par 35 with 36 points.  Hint, weather was not that bad.

Gerald wins pins.  Think Pfing-ex cup points here.

If Shingles stays,  he and JonE most probably would have won easily.  Brian would have accrued NO pfing-ex cup points. Brian is in first place.  Judge Gerald is not a happy camper.  Last seen slapping a little kid during first tee hoop games who said, hi, my name is Don--------------

Hang down your head, Don Shingles,  hang down your head and cry-----------------------    

Shingles has vowed to head off to Golfsmith early Friday morning to get NEW CLUBS.

El C's  XTD-Ti's are "killing" his bargain bin tight lies.

Written "shamelessly" by El Conejo.

See you--------------------------rmoney at 230 pm.

9/5

OO7 Shakes and Stirs Shingles

EHS golfers, 14 players gathered Friday for "further" adventures. Some of us are striving to hit the ball "farther". That should keep Halback off of my "grammar gaffes" for at least another sentence or two.

9/2

8/29

Hey EHS golfers------Let's play a game---- this is a combination of writing efforts by Halback and Pfingstag

8/22

8/16

Friday saw a full field of fifteen Edgewater golfers tee it up at the historic Winter Park Golf Club, celebrating one hundred years of links activity. Thankfully, no one shot a hundred; however, the

Low Man was Yack, er Jack (+11), who was drug to defeat by his teammates, allowing the

Winning Team of Gerald (+9, maybe), William deZ., and Bob to take home the bacon (we paid in bacon because Gerald didn't have enough money for dinner).

The Pins were also won by the big pro (anyone else getting tired of this?).

Labor Day, as Brian has noted, will include a double point major tournament, secured by Steve Mc., at Eagle Creek, beginning (as I prophesized) at dawn's but t-crack--or seven AM, as some of you know it. Range balls in the pre-dawn dark are included as is lunch, probably before noon with the early tee time.

Get ready: The Mouth of the South returns Wednesday to harangue us all and to harass Don, specifically.

8/16

Not to be confused with snakes on the plane. They are on dry ice and there are 4 of them and they can last 24 hours. Even if you are playing golf in the morning, what time can I deliver them to your house?

8/12

Last Friday, eleven golfers competed on a hot day that was so humid, you had to have gills to breath. Brian won both pins because seven was open and he hit eight (Gerald--who owns eight--was busy moving, as in changing residence). Don (+6) carried his team to victory which included Jason-Mini-Cooper and someone else (maybe Guido?). Low man was Bob at +7. Don't forget: NEW TEE TIMES BEGINNING TOMORROW, WEDNESDAY at 2:30. Plans are underway for a Labor Day tournament.

Chillax (I don't know what it means, but apparently it's cool)

6/30

EHS golfers, Jack and Henry utterly devastated the field last Friday. With a large group of 14 golfers,

Jack and Henry were equally awesome. Jack finished at +12 and was top individual while Henry finished

at an outstanding +11. Henry "nipped" Shingles by "only" 7 shots. Jack and Henry were on the same team along with a surprised but relieved Jon E to finish with a team total of +20.

Pins were won by Judge Gerald and Steve Dez. El Conejo and 007 were +15, and combined with Bob Halback to finish in 2nd place at +15. To WHOM it may concern----Halback, you were heavy.

El Conejo posted a 39 and was +6. By now the reader is confused!? I thought that Henry was +11?

As Paul Harvey would say, now for the rest of the story---------------

The Henry that was +11 and "spanked" Shingles was-----------Henry DEZWART.

Well done Henry, well done.

This message from El Conejo is sent to you from 37,000 feet above Mt Rushmore, South Dakota

from a United Airlines Airbus 319 on the way to Vancouver Island to lead a group into the

Johnstone-Broughton straits to "Free Willy" .

As Jay and the Americans used to sing------"See you in September"

El Conejo rests well knowing that in his absence, the other "Henry" will keep

Shingles on a short leash. Hasta la vista from El C

June 24

Greatest result of last week was an appearance by Tom Ruby.  Everyone was thrilled to have him come out and join the group.  This e-mail list contains Tom's new E-mail address.

2nd greatest result, last Wednesday Brian Thor Michaels shot under par, had 40 points, and was plus 15.  He teamed with Jack for a runaway victory.  Judge Gerald shot a 33 and the two erstwhile professionals silenced 

El Conejo.  El C was talking a little smack after being one under and possessing the rabbit after two holes. John Maloney was also in the group and Brian, Gerald, and John posted birdies on 6 of the final 7 holes, which buried

El C.   Amazingly, no one was crying for him.  John M hit it to two feet on #8 just inside of Justin the pro ,whom

was giving a lesson to a client.  Shingles stayed home,  hence it did not rain while we were out on the course.  It did rain before and after, though.

Onward to Friday.  12 players participated and "Augusta man", Steve Hansen had a 36 with 36 points and was +8 to carry Joe O and Steve McKinney to an easy victory.  Joe O and McKinney were both modestly plus, so the win looked like Germany over Portugal in the FIFA World cup.  Look for Joe O to start fading away after celebrating his 66th birthday on Sunday.  In his honor, the Druids had a ceremony at Stonehenge and rumor has it that Sir Alan represented the Polish prince at the ceremony in England.

On Friday, Shingles stayed home again because of the 190% chance of rain, and again, it did not rain on us.

It did rain inside Shingles house multiple times during and after he spent $4,000 plus dollars having his house 

re-plumbed.  Charlotte B laid down Judge Gerald's law--------------

No new clubs for you--------------"Doo-maas"

hasta mañana from El C--------

June 18

Times have switched for the summer,  130 pm on Wed and Fridays for those available.

Friday results,   Paul McKee, Brian, and Steve McKinney won the team.  This is McKinney's 3rd win in a row.

Speaking of McKInney, he won a pin and the other was won by El Conejo.

Top individual was a 3 way tie, at +5.  Jon E  was top along with two others whose name I cannot recall at this second.  Why did not Jon E win?  Hint, one of his team mates missed 5 par putts and desperately needs 

NEW CLUBS!  Figure it out.   007 was last seen "shaking" his head.  

Forecast, hot and humid with a decent chance of rain.  Call Shingles for additional weather hints.

El C

June 12

Wed was a little dicey from the weather perspective.  10 "determined" players showed up and some were ready to play.  Sir Alan was awaiting transport from the Dunkirk/Southern Dunes Beach back to Wales.

Shingles showed up, he was going to play, then not, he was going to play, then not.  He abandoned his allies and fled to his house.  So at this point the Welshman and the French Count "Doo-mas" have evacuated themselves from the combat zone.  Resolutely the rest went off to play.  After 1 1/2 holes,  all hell broke loose.  Kind of reminds us of Omaha Beach.  A giant tree limb fell just in front of the third tee and almost wiped out our Polish Prince,  Joe O.   Everyone retreated to the clubhouse and the Polish representative Joe O and the "Italian", Mark Davis decided to cut'n'run, a la Shingles.  Mark recently obtained dual citizenship after his two week visit to Italy.  So at this juncture we have lost the Welsh/English, the French, the Polish, and the Italians.  So who is left to win this battle?  The Americans, of course.

Seven tough golf "soldiers" went back out and finished the round under tough conditions.

Now for our results.  Everybody won.  John Maloney shot even par and won both pins. He permanently endeared himself to our group by leaving behind his winnings for beer money while he took his son to a Little League game, which of course, was rained out.  Judge Gerald and Steve McKinney were plus 6 and tied for first place.  Brian and Jack were plus 6 and tied for first place.  Gerald's friend Gary and El Conejo were plus 6 and tied for first place.  Thus the six Americans and the Canadian were all winners, no one made much money, but all accrued coveted Pfing-ex cup points. This kind of reminds us of World War II, when the Americans saved the European's bacon.

In 1966, when Charles De Gaulle "demanded" that all US troops leave France and when he withdrew France from NATO, at the behest of LBJ, Secretary of State Dean Rusk queried the arrogant French President, and said sir, do you mean ALL American troops must depart from French soil.  De Gaulle haughtily replied, yes ALL US soldiers shall permanently leave French soil. Dean Rusk then said does that that include the thousands of US soldiers buried on the beaches of Normandy?  The embarrassed

 De Gaulle could think of no reply whatsoever.  There is circumstantial evidence that Shingles may be a distant relative of De Gaulle, but no proof.

For the "Eagles that Dare", tomorrow is the last day when we start at 230 pm, commencing next week the tee time will be moved up to 130 pm.  Yes, Shingles has predicted rain again.  Sir Alan will be 37,000 feet above the Atlantic Ocean en route home.  The forecast is no better than it was in France in June of 1944, but the Edgewater golf group will prevail.  Wear your "Target" shirt Shingles, in case there is lightning!

Scudfather, quit chuckling---------  Hasta mañana from El Conejo

June 10

On the 70th anniversary of D-Day, 16 golfers participated at the "beaches" of Winter Park.

The British invasion force consisted only of the Lord mayor of Wales himself,  Sir Alan Cruse.

He had been assaulted by Polk County bedbugs and it clearly affected his game.  The other 15 players were American and if we were to explain the results using analogies  form D-Day,  Shingles and Shakey were instant casualties during the first wave of the attack.  Shingles is lusting for new clubs, but alas and alack,  his house needs to be re-plumbed as his copper pipes have sprung multiple leaks.

Most of the rest of the troops survived the initial landings and some good scores were posted.

A distant cousin of California Chrome DID win our version of the triple crown on Friday afternoon.

Chromey Cangemillo, aka Tony C was top individual at +8, shot a 39 and won both pins highlighted by a very short birdie putt on hole #7.  His partners El Conejo and Steve McKinney helped the winning team post an overall score of +12.  Prior to the match, Shingles had pronounced El Conejo "done" as his points were simply too high.  This prompted an aggrieved El C to shoot a 40 and finish +5.   

After a close match, Dezwart defeated Shingles by one stroke.   Not Steve, but rather rising Glenridge Middle 7th grader William Dezwart nipped the luckless Shingles.  Rumor has it that Steve Dezwart and Henry Dezwart also beat Shingles.  Shingles explanation of how this could happen to him made him sound a bit like California Chrome's owner just after the end of the Belmont.

Holy cock robin, tomorrow it will be "impossible" to play because of the threat of storms, but for those 

Eagles that dare, 230 pm .    Hasta mañana from El C.

May 30

On Wed Tony C was clearly the top individual and he beat El C like El C usually beats Shingles, early and often.

Despite a 60% chance of rain,  8 players  participated without precipitation, precipitated by the fact that Shingles did not show.  There was ,however, a good amount of perspiration as the weather has turned very summer like.

I am sure that the last couple of sentences will draw the grammatical wrath of Bob H, as your story teller has already been remonstrated for gross misuse of who vs whom, lie vs lay, farther vs further, good vs evil,

commies vs Americans,  Obama vs Reagan, etc.

To further my education, today I will visit and lie down on the grass in front of the George W Bush presidential library in Dallas.  Who/  or Whom, if your prefer, else has visited this wonderful place?  Our "closet" Republican, claro que si,  that is Espanol for , "of course", G.J.B.F,   who/or whom, if you prefer, is a distant cousin of G.H.W.B, also know as Bush41,  while W is known as Bush43.  Unlike Guido, I will refrain from being detained by security, I hope.  So I will miss you--------------------rmoney today, but then be forewarned, Shingles is playing today so that your chances of perspiration and precipitation are both extremely high.

To complete Wedneday's results, pins were won by the Polish Prince, Joe O.  Several years ago his relatives fled Poland for a safer country, and now live in the UKRAINE.  How is that working out for the extended Oldakowski clan?  About the same as Shingles testosterone treatments, which apparently have made him "limp" -------------

when he walks!  Please people, clean up your thoughts.

To further, NOT farther, discuss Wed results, two teams tied for first place.  Jack and Brian tied Paul McKee and Joe O for first place, and all accrued,not accreted, Pfing-ex cup points.

Important information for next Wed-------WPark is CLOSED.  The tour will move for one day only to the 

Winter Park Pines golf course, but we need a head count for making tee times. We will commence as usual at 

230 pm.   E-mail Brian, or text Brian, or tell Brian today if you are in for next Wed.  Watch theeese, it is easy.  Brian, Henry is in!

Scud, this "masterpiece" of mangled literary story telling is for you, and your Bud.  I know that you will enjoy it.

Returning to FL Sunday night,   El Conejo

May 28

The Memorial Day tournament was a smashing success and thank you from all to Steve McKinney for hosting the after party.  Some highlights-----Mark Davis accrued 24 Pfing-ex cup points as he won 2 teams, was top individual on the front side, and was plus his average.  Rick Wack was +14 on the back side, shot even par with two birdies, and along with Mark and two fortunate partners won the back side.

Steve Hansen shot 78, which made him medalist runner-up to Jon E,  who posted an outstanding 76.  Jon also won two of the 4 pins, but was befuddled when his team finished last on the front with a composite team score of -27!  A very sheepish Guido and Jim Cooper attempted to hide from Jon------------  Shingles was plus on both the front and back side and claimed it was the secret help being sent to him from the UFO's that formerly lived over his house.  He also has been to Golfsmith twice in search of-------------------------------

A) proof of alien life or B} new clubs  or C} BOTH!

This is a multiple choice question and right now Halback is musing and muttering to himself, there is some truth to the previous statements.   The scary thing here Bob,  is that there is too much truth about Shingles quest for aliens and new clubs.

Wed and Friday at 230 pm for those that can-------El Canejo

The Indy 500 just ended, and hopefully tomorrow's tournament will be just as exciting.

Speaking of excitement, a quick re-cap of last week's results.  Wed saw top individual Joe O and Senator Ackerman tie closest to the pin Jack partnered with El Conejo for a shared team victory.  Gerald and Jon E were left in the lurch because Mr Don Shingles was their partner, one as a regular partner and one as the wild card. After hearing Shingles lament missing a 1 1/2 foot putt on #9 to win the rabbit,  his team with Gerald finished exactly one point behind the leaders.  If he had made the putt, he and Gerald would have WON by a point.  Sir Alan is at this moment exclaiming,  Don, Don, Don, and is plotting his return to the USA soon.  By the way, let us Yanks know when you are coming back across the pond.

Friday was hot but dry and 12 persons played.  Scores were good as both Jim Cooper and Mark Davis were plus six,  but were nipped for top individual by both Jack and El Conejo, whom tied at plus 7.

Gerald and El Conejo won pins,  and the team victory went to  007 GMyatt, partnered with Jon E, and Jim Cooper.  It was a total team victory because all 3 players were plus their averages.  Well done.

Shingles was unavailable to lose as he was attending the high school graduation of his grandson.

There is an unsubstantiated rumor that both Shingles and his missing-in-action buddy,  Guido Javier Blanco Fernandez, have vowed to arrive tomorrow morning and "paste" the competition.  They will be plotting their strategy while sharing a golf cart.  Until tomorrow-------El Conejo is missing you------------rdinero. 

April 28

Hear ye, hear ye all ,  The final regular season match is now the Sir Alan Cruse, Lord-Mayor of Wales Invitational Open,

Pfing-ex cup points are doubled for this prestigious event.  If you are receiving this e-mail, the Lord Mayor invites you to participate.

Sir Alan is less than 6 hours from boarding his plane and has required me to send out this info tonight.  His good friend Sir Nick Faldo, wishes to join us Wed and participate in the match with us.  He was even willing to throw his $5 into the pot, but those pesky bosses at CBS are insisting that he go to Charlotte, NC for the Wells-Fargo tour stop at Quail Hollow.  Sir Nick has asked Sir Alan to have El Conejo fill in for him as the color analyst in this final match of the season.  El Conejo has humbly accepted,  Henry the commoner is humbled to be serving two members of the Royal Court.

Sir Alan decrees that one grouping shall be Judge Gerald, Thor Michaels,  Sir Alan and El Conejo.

Another necessity is that anyone who has not been eliminated mathematically from the quest for the cup be in another pairing.  This would definitely include Jack, Bob Halback, and Joe O.   We realize that everyone cannot play Wed but we look forward to seeing all that can appear.

Friday results include less anguish in Asgard as Thor, Joe O , and Mr Don Shingles won the team bet, and Shingles excellent score actually

helped his team!  It looks like he is peaking at the right time which makes him a likely first draft pick by Steve Hansen in GA.

Friday Judge Gerald won both pins and maintains his slight lead over Brian.

And now for you history teachers, you really are going to like this-------------------------------------

This final battle of the year certainly reminds us of the epic battle on the plains of Abraham outside of Quebec City featuring the 

French Canadian Gerald "Montcalm" Couture representing the French citizens of Quebec versus Brian "Wolfe" Michaels, representing Sir Alan,

Sir Nick and the rest of the British empire.

April 17

Wed was a very good day for Judge Gerald,  who shot a 1 under par 34 with 38 points, was top individual, and combined with wild card Paul Ackerman to win the team bet.  Thor Michaels is in anguish as he realizes that Gerald accrued 8 Pfing-ex cup points.  Pins were won by the Polish Prince,  Joe O, and also 

Ted "the minivan-slayer" Noel.   Ted's second best shot of the day was when he hit it inside Judge Gerald on hole #7 into a ferocious headwind.  His best shot was on hole #1.  After a good drive his sand wedge was a tad long over the pin, jumped off the back of the green and then into Park Ave.  It squarely struck the rear right side of a white Honda Odyssey minivan, and the ball was instantly catapulted back onto the back fringe of the green, where he saved bogey.  The stunned soccer mom delayed at the stop sign after being scared by the loud noise, and then sped off north on Park Ave.  We were already prepared to tell her that Don Bennett was the perp, and provide phone and address info, but we did not need to do that.

Weather alert, weather alert,  Shingles is coming tomorrow, so we all know what that means for precipitation chances,  190% , naturally he missed Wed so the weather was nice.

El Conejo

As we now know hundreds of years later, Canada is not a member of the French empire, but is part of the Queen Elizabeth crowd.

You might want to skip the part where both Wolfe and Montcalm died during this battle, we hope for a spirited match but are planing on everyone surviving so they can go to Sea Island.

The Sea Island gate house has everyone's name in writing and they assure us that everyone will be let in.  

Simply identify yourselves as part of the Pfingstag group.

hasta la Wednesday from El Conejo 

April 13

Last week the results were interesting as there was a direct link between our results at WPark and the activities at Augusta National.  Wed "no pain Wayne" showed up and announced that he would be attending the Sunday round at the Masters. Inspired by his upcoming trip, he went out and promptly shot a 34 with 38 points and was +7.  He should have won the team bet but, apologies to Shakespeare, alas and alack, his partner was Mr Don Shingles,  and that did not work out so well.  The winning team was Tony C and Bob Halback.  Jack's back, as will be his hit show, 24 ,very soon, and Jack waggled his way to a top individual score of +9.

So now we get to Friday, and Steve Hansen shows up decked out like he has just come from Augusta National.  He has the shirt, the hat, the towel, all of which can only be purchased at Augusta.

How was this possible?  Because he was at the practice round on Monday and brought indisputable video evidence to attest to this fact.  Inspired, naturally he also shot a 34 with 38 points and was +10 and the top individual.  His partners Steve McKinney and El Conejo easily won the team bet with a team total of +17.

Hansen was lamenting that his average would be "too high" to have any chance at Sea Island, but to cheer him up, it was recommended and accepted that he would make his first draft pick Mr D. Shingles.

He said, that's what I did last year.  He immediately was cheered up.

Wed at 230 pm, next outing at WPark.  Que lastima, this is the last week that G.J.F.B. will be 59.

He is turning 60 very soon, and expect him to start to slip soon.

El Conejo

The Memorial Day tournament was a smashing success and thank you from all to Steve McKinney for hosting the after party. Some highlights-----Mark Davis accrued 24 Pfing-ex cup points as he won 2 teams, was top individual on the front side, and was plus his average. Rick Wack was +14 on the back side, shot even par with two birdies, and along with Mark and two fortunate partners won the back side.

Steve Hansen shot 78, which made him medalist runner-up to Jon E, who posted an outstanding 76. Jon also won two of the 4 pins, but was befuddled when his team finished last on the front with a composite team score of -27! A very sheepish Guido and Jim Cooper attempted to hide from Jon------------ Shingles was plus on both the front and back side and claimed it was the secret help being sent to him from the UFO's that formerly lived over his house. He also has been to Golfsmith twice in search of-------------------------------

A) proof of alien life or B} new clubs or C} BOTH!

This is a multiple choice question and right now Halback is musing and muttering to himself, there is some truth to the previous statements. The scary thing here Bob, is that there is too much truth about Shingles quest for aliens and new clubs.

Wed and Friday at 230 pm for those that can-------El Canejo